If God Brings You To It, He Will Bring You Through It~

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I really hate her.. All this while our so called good relationship was probably just based on sweetened words and whatever. If she actually thinks im sensible she would have given me MY space and MY time to do whatever i want to do. Its not as if staying up till 2am will kill any one or whatever. This is just so screwed up. Everything i do, it must be to please her and listen to her like a fucking dog. Sorry mother, im just not that type of person. If you had actually known my heart since i was young, you wouldnt be like this. Deep down, all the hurt and pain you have caused me, nothing that you can ever do will ever heal it. Absolutely Nothing. Deep down, i hate you and him. Both of you were never there when i needed you both, only assuming things from your perspectives and never looking at it from mine. Please, im 19 this year. I deserve my own privacy and rights in this household as well. I really wish i could whack some fucking sense into both your thick heads. I had enough of this shit.

And till this day, i stand firm on this. The moment i have enough money, to purchase my own flat or whatever, and have enough to survive on my own and etc. I will leave this cursed house, and never return to it ever again. Not even your birthdays, christmas, chinese new years and whatever you can think of. I will never come back.. Not even on your funeral. Do not expect me to send you off at your last breath either. You can just fuck off and die for all i care now. Just dont drag me along with you. My tears are meant for people who love me and etc. Not people who just keep hurting me countlessly over and over again.

I'm walking this path alone. No one will ever understand what im facing through or can even understand the pain. No one. All my emotional turmoils can only be faced by myself. No one can take my place or whatsoever. Its all on me now.

Please do not give me any spiritual answers at this point of time. I may not absorb it well.
Perhaps i really just need some time alone. After the exams, i will probably try living my life in seclusion, only attending to things that needs to be attended to. The emotional wound i have is just so deep that till now, i probably cant feel at some areas. Especially in my area of trust now. I've been broken down by situations to the point where i feel so so vulnerable. This really isnt me. I hate it. I really hate it.


About Me Benjamin Walker Tay ★ 2nd July 1991 NYP - SIT CHC - N457 Moo ♥ LET'S TALK Linkaways~ Carmen~ Clarice~ Claris~ Eelynn~ Fion~ Isabel~ Gavyn~ Gift~ Grace~ Michelle~ Sebas~ Wei Loon~ Willie~ Xin Wen~	Tuesday, February 16, 2010 I really hate her.. All this while our so called good relationship was probably just based on sweetened words and whatever. If she actually thinks im sensible she would have given me MY space and MY time to do whatever i want to do. Its not as if staying up till 2am will kill any one or whatever. This is just so screwed up. Everything i do, it must be to please her and listen to her like a fucking dog. Sorry mother, im just not that type of person. If you had actually known my heart since i was young, you wouldnt be like this. Deep down, all the hurt and pain you have caused me, nothing that you can ever do will ever heal it. Absolutely Nothing. Deep down, i hate you and him. Both of you were never there when i needed you both, only assuming things from your perspectives and never looking at it from mine. Please, im 19 this year. I deserve my own privacy and rights in this household as well. I really wish i could whack some fucking sense into both your thick heads. I had enough of this shit. And till this day, i stand firm on this. The moment i have enough money, to purchase my own flat or whatever, and have enough to survive on my own and etc. I will leave this cursed house, and never return to it ever again. Not even your birthdays, christmas, chinese new years and whatever you can think of. I will never come back.. Not even on your funeral. Do not expect me to send you off at your last breath either. You can just fuck off and die for all i care now. Just dont drag me along with you. My tears are meant for people who love me and etc. Not people who just keep hurting me countlessly over and over again. I'm walking this path alone. No one will ever understand what im facing through or can even understand the pain. No one. All my emotional turmoils can only be faced by myself. No one can take my place or whatsoever. Its all on me now. Please do not give me any spiritual answers at this point of time. I may not absorb it well. Perhaps i really just need some time alone. After the exams, i will probably try living my life in seclusion, only attending to things that needs to be attended to. The emotional wound i have is just so deep that till now, i probably cant feel at some areas. Especially in my area of trust now. I've been broken down by situations to the point where i feel so so vulnerable. This really isnt me. I hate it. I really hate it.