If God Brings You To It, He Will Bring You Through It~

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Today was randall's birthday :) and i held a surprise party for him at his house :D
Thank you jess, auntie chan, jerrick, bert, qi tai, phil, daniel, for coming down even though you're all so busy (except for phil jerrick bert and qi tai who are having their holidays) and thank you jess for being my "spy" and thanks auntie chan for funding the whole celebration :D

I'm terribly sorry uh phil... i made you wait 1 whole hour just for me to come and meet you at buona vista... I really didnt mean to make you wait, and see me in such a condition where it was totally not me..

Anyways, me and phil arrived at randall's house at roughly 4 30? Then after awhile, me and phil went out to buy the birthday cake for randall, but thanks to me again... i made phil walk with me around holland village for like 3-5 rounds ? only to realise that the cake shop was just 5mins walk from randall's house -.-" Really sorry luh phil :( i made you suffer so much with me today...

After we reached the cake shop, we realised we both do not have enough money to even buy the cake -.-" so in the end jerrick came down to find us and used the money auntie chan gave to him to pay for the cake :) By the way, we bought a tiramisu cake, coz jerrick said randall loves tiramisu and we decided to splurge on randall :) (F.Y.I the cake costs $45) So randall if you see this, please thank auntie chan, coz she paid for the pizza, and she bought duck and spare ribs for you too :) Auntie chan is like one of the best mothers i have ever known, how i wish my mum was like her :(

Randall reached back home at about 7pm ? Me and phil missed surprising randall coz me and phil went to find daniel at buona vista mrt as daniel doesnt know how to go to randall's house
So, randall was kinda stunned i guess ? to see all his bros and phil plus daniel all at his house, and later on his neighbours even came to celebrate too :)

I hoped you enjoyed yourself randall :) I know tomorrow's your exam and i hope by having this celebration, you know that we're all here for you and supporting you :) All the best for your exams tomorrow :)

Anyways, me bert and qi tai left at around 9 30pm? qi tai and bert was heading for ion as they're having holidays... i headed back home, but only to realise that i left my keys at randall's house -.-" and i wouldnt have known until randall called me (THANK GOD)
So i went back up to randall's house to collect my keys plus my cap which i also forgot.. and headed back home.
I stopped at lakeside mrt as usual, and instead of taking a bus, i decided to walk back home as i was really having a heavy heart and i didnt really wanna go back home..
While walking back home, i just took the time to think and just have my own quiet time.. i was tearing while on the way back.. i feel like a crybaby at times... even phil saw me crying today while making my way to randall's house.. i think people on the mrt or at my condo there also realised too, as they walked passed me.. i had to use my fringe to cover my red eyes so that no one would notice.. i was really feeling so down.. i hate it.. i hate coming back to this cursed house where there is no privacy/freedom and everything i do has to be accounted for, even for my own private/social life..

I just feel so distant sometimes too...
I
just wish i could live my life in seclusion like how i planned to.. since last year after o's i always planned to live for like a few months in seclusion. The plan was to come online every now and then, my phone would be on silent 24/7 and switched off at times, the only way to contact me directly would be my house number, or if you're lucky, my handphone number. I really wish i could live like that now.. Just all by myself, where i can spend the time doing what i want, and go wherever i wanna go.. Is is still possible anytime soon?

Honestly i doubt that.. school is getting busier and busier, the holidays i have may be spent doing projects and etc.. there isnt much time for my own self indulgence.. Sometimes i feel that im all alone and its hard for people to connect deeply to me at times coz im very defensive + sensitive..
Even now, as im typing im also tearing and on the verge of crying... I dont know why my tears just come out so easily.. but yeah... i know there are always people out there for me.. but to connect with me deeply takes a very long time and i change every now and then..
It's like, i will make the person who connects with me deeply my top priority majority of the time, but if i suddenly feel that he isnt my priority, (via the way he/she treats me) i will change on the spot and the person would have to once again go through the process of getting connected with me deeply again.. I can be over-sensitive at times but, if you are one of my good friends, you will forever be deeply loved by me and i will always be there for you, just that perhaps our connection with one another may not be that strong.
I guess that's just me for you all readers..

I find myself kinda like a girl at times... maybe randall's right.. i should really stop whining like a bitch... and just tackle it head on like a man.. but sometimes i just cant.. its just not me, and i will fight for a way to let it go my way..

Anyways, im planning to sleep early today :)
Goodnight readers :)


About Me Benjamin Walker Tay ★ 2nd July 1991 NYP - SIT CHC - N457 Moo ♥ LET'S TALK Linkaways~ Carmen~ Clarice~ Claris~ Eelynn~ Fion~ Isabel~ Gavyn~ Gift~ Grace~ Michelle~ Sebas~ Wei Loon~ Willie~ Xin Wen~	Sunday, December 13, 2009 Today was randall's birthday :) and i held a surprise party for him at his house :D Thank you jess, auntie chan, jerrick, bert, qi tai, phil, daniel, for coming down even though you're all so busy (except for phil jerrick bert and qi tai who are having their holidays) and thank you jess for being my "spy" and thanks auntie chan for funding the whole celebration :D I'm terribly sorry uh phil... i made you wait 1 whole hour just for me to come and meet you at buona vista... I really didnt mean to make you wait, and see me in such a condition where it was totally not me.. Anyways, me and phil arrived at randall's house at roughly 4 30? Then after awhile, me and phil went out to buy the birthday cake for randall, but thanks to me again... i made phil walk with me around holland village for like 3-5 rounds ? only to realise that the cake shop was just 5mins walk from randall's house -.-" Really sorry luh phil :( i made you suffer so much with me today... After we reached the cake shop, we realised we both do not have enough money to even buy the cake -.-" so in the end jerrick came down to find us and used the money auntie chan gave to him to pay for the cake :) By the way, we bought a tiramisu cake, coz jerrick said randall loves tiramisu and we decided to splurge on randall :) (F.Y.I the cake costs $45) So randall if you see this, please thank auntie chan, coz she paid for the pizza, and she bought duck and spare ribs for you too :) Auntie chan is like one of the best mothers i have ever known, how i wish my mum was like her :( Randall reached back home at about 7pm ? Me and phil missed surprising randall coz me and phil went to find daniel at buona vista mrt as daniel doesnt know how to go to randall's house So, randall was kinda stunned i guess ? to see all his bros and phil plus daniel all at his house, and later on his neighbours even came to celebrate too :) I hoped you enjoyed yourself randall :) I know tomorrow's your exam and i hope by having this celebration, you know that we're all here for you and supporting you :) All the best for your exams tomorrow :) Anyways, me bert and qi tai left at around 9 30pm? qi tai and bert was heading for ion as they're having holidays... i headed back home, but only to realise that i left my keys at randall's house -.-" and i wouldnt have known until randall called me (THANK GOD) So i went back up to randall's house to collect my keys plus my cap which i also forgot.. and headed back home. I stopped at lakeside mrt as usual, and instead of taking a bus, i decided to walk back home as i was really having a heavy heart and i didnt really wanna go back home.. While walking back home, i just took the time to think and just have my own quiet time.. i was tearing while on the way back.. i feel like a crybaby at times... even phil saw me crying today while making my way to randall's house.. i think people on the mrt or at my condo there also realised too, as they walked passed me.. i had to use my fringe to cover my red eyes so that no one would notice.. i was really feeling so down.. i hate it.. i hate coming back to this cursed house where there is no privacy/freedom and everything i do has to be accounted for, even for my own private/social life.. I just feel so distant sometimes too... I just wish i could live my life in seclusion like how i planned to.. since last year after o's i always planned to live for like a few months in seclusion. The plan was to come online every now and then, my phone would be on silent 24/7 and switched off at times, the only way to contact me directly would be my house number, or if you're lucky, my handphone number. I really wish i could live like that now.. Just all by myself, where i can spend the time doing what i want, and go wherever i wanna go.. Is is still possible anytime soon? Honestly i doubt that.. school is getting busier and busier, the holidays i have may be spent doing projects and etc.. there isnt much time for my own self indulgence.. Sometimes i feel that im all alone and its hard for people to connect deeply to me at times coz im very defensive + sensitive.. Even now, as im typing im also tearing and on the verge of crying... I dont know why my tears just come out so easily.. but yeah... i know there are always people out there for me.. but to connect with me deeply takes a very long time and i change every now and then.. It's like, i will make the person who connects with me deeply my top priority majority of the time, but if i suddenly feel that he isnt my priority, (via the way he/she treats me) i will change on the spot and the person would have to once again go through the process of getting connected with me deeply again.. I can be over-sensitive at times but, if you are one of my good friends, you will forever be deeply loved by me and i will always be there for you, just that perhaps our connection with one another may not be that strong. I guess that's just me for you all readers.. I find myself kinda like a girl at times... maybe randall's right.. i should really stop whining like a bitch... and just tackle it head on like a man.. but sometimes i just cant.. its just not me, and i will fight for a way to let it go my way.. Anyways, im planning to sleep early today :) Goodnight readers :)